I didn't get much sleep last night and am looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow. I had a rough day and night. I feel so hung up on this situation with my boyfriend. But, today I really realized I need to go back to working the steps. I realize I'm powerless over this situation and his life I only have control over myself. I read a blog from that girl and she was saying some terrible things about me or someone that whoever was fat and ugly that she wanted her man and eventually she would keep t… Continue

I'm awake because my teeth really ache. I ate way too much last night and feel like crap. I have to go out to dinner tonight to celebrate my aunt's birthday AGAIN which, I am so not looking forward to. I just want to make it through the day. The other day my aunt said you are being more assertive lately. Why is that? I am not sure why that is to be honest. I think it is just finally realizing I need to stand up for myself. I deserve to be treated better then I have been treated. I get tired of b… Continue

This weekend I went out to celebrate my aunt's birthday with her. We actually had a decent time. But, she started talking about the end of the world again. She asked me if I would come move with her if she and my uncle ever moved I said "only if my mom and grandma went too." She said "so you'd rather die with them?" My response was "Yes." Kind of morbid I know but at least I was being honest. Then she said if I appreciated her. I told her I did. Which, is true on some level. But, she always acts… Continue

I am feeling better tonight. I thought of HALT. And realizes I was hungry, tired, and angry. I got something to eat and rested a bit. I realize that it is so important what I see and feel about myself on the inside. I usually am so concerned about the outside. But, I also need to like what is inside of me. I am still learning to like myself on the outside and inside. I have my yucky moments like today. I watched the movie about Georgia O'Keeffe and I related to what her life was like with her hu… Continue

Today was such a hectic day for me. First I mailed the break up/goodbye letter to my boyfriend. I just told him the truth. It hurt me when he through this girl in my face and if she is there for him then that's great but I don't deserve to be treated this way. I truly believe if it was between keeping her friendship or our relationship he would choose there friendship. It seems like that's what is already happening. I said if he didn't want to live with me or marry me that was fine but I am tire… Continue